how would I know if my wife loves me?

A man asked the wise man, how would I know if my wife loves me?

The man replied, when she does 12 things be assured that she loves you .
The man asked, so what are the 12 things?
The wise man answered:
1- If she likes to hear about your demeanour be sure that she loves you.
2- If she didn’t get angry when you contradicted her opinion.
3- If she becomes sad because of your sadness or anger.
4- If she always tries to create topics to make conversation with you.
5- If she always consults you before she makes something or takes a decision.
6- If she gets very happy when you give her a gift even if it's something very simple.
7-If she always tries to help you or even do some of your tasks.
8- If she worries about you in your absence.
9- If she cares to do what pleases you, and tries to not repeat what angers you.
10- If she doesn’t care about how little you earn (money).
11- If she likes to share whatever you like and cares to become a part of your world and your hobbies.
12-If she prays for you!
We ask Allah to bless us with true love and to assist us in maintaining it, Aameen.
[http://www.PureMatrimony.com/]

Marriage is sacrifice

Marriage is sacrifice. It's giving of yourself for the one you love. It's being ready to give up your own ideas or desires to make your mate happy. It's giving and giving and giving again. Marriage is yielding, bending, melting together. Marriage is going the extra mile. Marriage is compassion. It's preferring the happiness of another to your own.

Will Marriage Solve My Problems?

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Will Marriage Solve My Problems?

Posted: 25 Mar 2013 05:00 AM PDT

By Ubah Mohamoud
After engaging more with the Muslim community through activities like da`wah (calling to Islam), conferences, and halaqat (study circles), I have observed something intriguing: there seems to be a fascination—even obsession—with the topic of marriage. Regardless of whether a particular lecture is dedicated to something other than gender relations, the topic of marriage somehow always creeps up.
Now, do I consider this a bad thing? Not necessarily. Indeed, considering the magnitude of fitan (trials) that many unmarried folks face, such as the pressure to date or deal with the opposite gender on terms outside of the boundaries of Islam, I believe that marriage is something that should be discussed and encouraged.
What I’m more fascinated with, however, are the underlying reasons for why people –  especially the youth – want to get married so quickly. Despite not having enough resources to care for themselves, let alone a spouse, or whether they understand the Islamic obligations and duties of a spouse, it seems that many of our brothers and sisters have become consumed with the thought of marriage…why? I wonder: what are the psychological reasons behind why a person—who might not be physically or emotionally prepared—wants to get married? If this sounds like you—have you asked yourself why? I mean, apart from the obvious reasons of wanting to complete “half your deen,” or pleasing Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He), do you think there are some underlying issues that may be driving you to consider marriage?
Here are some reasons that I have come up with on my own:

1. I have noticed that some people view marriage as an escape from their current situations. Perhaps they believe that by getting married, all of their social and familial problems will be solved. Unfortunately, some Muslims may be living under dire conditions at home and might be going through emotional and/or physical abuse, and so for them marriage seems like a way out.
2. Some people may feel misunderstood by their peers and families, and may desire a partner who can understand and sympathize with them.
3. Some individuals may be feeling pressure from their relatives or cultural/ethnic communities. They may be made to feel bad for not finding a spouse, or even ridiculed and ostracized for being single.
4. A lot of people seem to be what I’d like to call “baby-obsessed”: for them, marriage is about having child, after child, after child, after…you get the point. 
5. For some, being in a relationship is about status: literally going from “single” to “taken” or “married.” It is about letting the world know that “Yes, I am important,” and the fact that they have a partner is a sign of that importance.
6. What about those who feel left out? Some may find that all of their friends or peers are getting married, and yet there they are, all alone. They may internalize their “single-hood” and begin to think that something is wrong with them.

My point is, issues such as low self-esteem, lack of attention, the desire for appreciation, the need to be noticed, lack of emotional support, peer/familial pressures, and societal expectations are, unfortunately, some of the underlying reasons people may seek marriage. We have been made to believe that marriage will solve all of our problems; that after getting married, we will truly live happily ever after. In my opinion, this outlook turns marriage into an end instead of a means and as a result, marriage becomes the “end all, be all” for many of us, We tell ourselves things like: “after marriage, I’ll be happy,” “after I get married, I’ll be satisfied.” We begin to view marriage as the ultimate solution to all of our problems, when in reality it is not. Marriage must be viewed as a means, and understood in terms of your personal relationship with Allah (swt). It is not marriage, in and of itself, that will bring you things such as happiness or contentment. Rather, it is through the act of marriage that you will find yourself coming closer to Allah (swt) insha’Allah (God willing). Through coming closer to Him and turning back to Him, you will begin to find true happiness and contentment, insha’Allah (God willing). That said, marriage should be viewd as a means to draw you closer to Allah (swt); a means of attaining His pleasure and earning His Paradise.
Brothers and sisters, marriage won’t solve your problems—Allah (swt) will.
So, if you find yourself currently in a rut—everything seems to be going “bad” for you; you’re depressed, lonely, sad, angry, frustrated, confused, or hurt—take a step towards Allah (swt). Turn to Him to solve your problems. Who knows, marriage may be the means through which He decides to help you…yet at the same time, it may not be. The point is, we need to start viewing the idea of marriage with a healthy mindset: one that is enriched with knowledge and empowerment from the Qur’an and Sunnah and one that realizes that Allah (swt) alone is the solver of all our problems and issues—and Allah (swt) knows best.

ISLAM FOR ALL WORLD        MUSLIM SHAADI    MUSLIM NAMES      

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Finding the right Man for marriage

Finding the right Man for marriage Is The second challenge. The first challenge is to be the right Woman that a right Man wants to marry.
As Allah SWT says in Qur'an,

"Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity" (24:26)

May Allah bless us with the righteous spouse. Aameen ya Rabb!! :)

♥ The true Muslim Husband ♥

♥ The true Muslim Husband ♥

He does not overreact and become angry for trivial reasons.

He does not create uproar if his wife offers him food that is not to their liking or the meal is a little late.

He always remembers the aspects of the Prophets (S.A.W.S) character, that reminds him to be generous, kind and tolerant.

If a man dislikes his wife for some reason,

If a man dislikes his wife for some reason, he should not adopt an attitude of terms of divorce, but he should look for hatred towards her, and start thinking in the good qualities in her, and learn to admire her because of them.

The Prophet (S.A.W.) has said, No believing man hates his believing wife. If there is a bad quality in her, there will also be a good quality.” (Sahih Muslim)

This shows that there is a special goodness in treating one's wife well. To make the advice more effective, the Prophet added that he himself was good and considerate to his wives.

Stop comparing your spouse to others

Stop comparing your spouse to others . • If your wife has no green coloured eyes like that of your friend's wife, so what? • If your husband has no car like your neighbour, so what? If these "lacking" make you unhappy, so why did you choose to marry him/her? By comparing your spouse to others, you will only get frustrated for what you don't have. And frustration will make you a negative person. And a negative person can only destroy relationship. [http://www.PureMatrimony.com/]

MARRAIGE BOX

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CHOOSING A HUSBAND

Seek permission:

Pure Matrimony

Seek permission:

When it comes to physical touch, both men and women struggle at times in marriage with being comfortable for a variety of reasons.

A husband will ask "how can I get my wife to open up, she pulls away when I touch her," and a wife will ask "how come my husband doesn't like to hold my hand even in the house?"
...
In such cases, try asking permission to do something first, and see how warm they are to the idea.

If they seem welcoming, go ahead. If they shrug, seem uncomfortable, or not ready - respect that.

Just keep the thought out there saying "No problem, I would really like to (________) though, but not unless you are comfortable." and fill in the blank.

Happily leave it alone, respecting their emotional boundaries and wait.

The idea itself will stay in their minds, and because you didn't pressure, are content, and still respectful, you are likely to develop a positive feedback cycle.

**Note** This won't work if you are using it as manipulation to "get something." It works when you genuinely want to GIVE something, and care that they experience equal happiness by what you want to give. Leave out mind games from your marriage, otherwise, true intimacy, let alone just touch, can't thrive.(Wives of Jannah)
[http://www.PureMatrimony.com/]

What Really “Keeps Girls in Their Place”

Despite the unfortunate realities of abuse and oppression faced by Muslim women and non-Muslim women alike, women are an easy target for negative propaganda feeding anti-Islamic agendas. Having heard the old rhetoric on how “women in Islam are oppressed” and how the religion “forces women to stay at home,” it’s refreshing to hear a different perspective on the challenges women face on a global scale.
According to the American Psychological Association’s 2007 Report on the Taskforce on the Sexualization of Girls, females suffer greater challenges with self-esteem, are more susceptible to depression, and are held back in terms of learning math, sciences and athletic skills due to the sexualization (and objectification) of girls.  This phenomenon, caused by over exposure to images of females in sexual poses, clothing, and roles in the media including, movies, music, videos, magazines, advertisements, etc. is the basis for this study reported in 2007.  A very interesting and eye-opening conclusion was made in this report:
“Taken together, the work …suggests that sexualization practices may function to keep girls ‘in their place’ as objects of sexual attraction and beauty, significantly limiting their free thinking and movement in the world.”
Take the statement in for a moment.  Ponder.  Repeat.  This study was not conducted by a right-wing Christian group or by radical “Islamists.”  This research was conducted by a group of American Psychologists concerned with how the well-being of girls is affected by the process of making girls view their worth in terms of their looks.
Oftentimes Islam and Muslims are accused of suppressing women’s potential.  What’s refreshing about this report is that the reality behind these societal problems is spelled out in clear letters.  No more blaming foreign ideologies, religions, or followers of a particular faith.  “Keeping girls in their place” and “limiting their free thinking and movement in the world,” is a massive home-grown problem channeled through the media.
Sexualization in the Media
Toys marketed to girls such as “BRATZ” with puckered lips, miniskirts, and fishnet stockings during Saturday morning cartoons demonstrates the pervasiveness of sexy images in the media.  Images of women, or even just their body parts, are used to sell everything – from frozen vegetables, to air conditioning services and alcoholic beverages.  The exploitive use of women is not limited to commercials and advertisements, but also music lyrics, clothing, and video games.
The byline for an article in USA Today on January 24, 2013 speaks to this very phenomenon: “Super Bowl XLVII auto advertisers hope to drive up sales with humorous and sexy ads.”  This casual analysis of the use of women to sell cars points to the sexist and hedonic trends of the advertising industry.  Advertisers want one thing: to promote their product.  The result of how the promotion of their product affects their audience, unfortunately, is not a part of their concern.  The negative impact of the use of sexualized images of women is our concern as the public.
Girls, pre-teens, and young adults begin to internalize these images as something they should emulate.  Various studies show that the sexualization of girls leads to an increase in anorexia, low self-esteem, and sexual promiscuity, to name a few.  The ill effects of this trend not only affect girls and women, but also boys and men.  From a young age, boys also learn that girls and women are to be judged on their physical appearance.  These detrimental attitudes translate into problems in adulthood, when men fail to find the “perfect woman.”  The inundation of sexualized images creates an unrealistic mental image of what an ideal woman should look like and how she should behave.
What Parents Can Do
So what does this mean for parents, family members, and the community at large?

1. Limit children’s exposure to sexualized images.  Filter what movies, television shows, and other videos your children watch.  Have you ever heard yourself or your peers say, “But what else are we supposed to watch?!”  If we are to blindly watch entertainment without monitoring its value, then we would be like cattle, following the masses without using our intellect.
2. Talk to your children, especially your girls, about the importance of education, being a good friend, and keeping physically fit.  Having girls understand from a young age that their intrinsic worth comes from exhibiting positive values, not how well their looks emulate those on the screen, is vital to their healthy development.
3. Teach your family about media literacy. Pointing out these negative trends to our youth allows them to see the world with discerning eyes.  Just as we would teach our youth not to get suckered into fraudulent advertisements meant to scheme unsuspecting customers out of their money, we should educate them on the damaging effects of sexualization.  Visit informative websites such as www.medialiteracy.com and www.projectunmask.com, a youth-led initiative educating youth on the damaging effects media plays on teen self-perception.

By taking a proactive approach to combatting the negative portrayal of girls and women in the media, we can begin to change the way the world treats and views the female gender.

family is like planting a single rose

For many of us, getting married and starting a family is like planting a single rose. Life begins with painful thorns, unattractive looks and no signs of life or beauty. However, with a little bit of care, water, patience and attention, those painful thorns transform into a beautiful sweet smelling rose. You begin to love that rose, admire it and hope and pray you can preserve its beauty as long as possible. This leads you to love that rose so much that it causes you to want more roses, a whole "family" of them. A family filled with colors, beauty and a pleasant nature in their characteristics. How did all of this begin? very simple, you were patient enough to love your first rose :)

not in being a LION at home and a MOUSE outside

My dear brothers- being a MAN is in being gentle, wise, forthcoming, understanding, patient, loving, caring, compassionate and merciful to those in your home...and not in being a LION at home and a MOUSE outside of your home...

It is from weakness to tolerate everyone outside the home and never have any toleration for those inside the home.

Be the best in the ummah from being the best to your families...
...
May Allah forgive and guide...Ameen. (Sajid Ahmed Umar)
 

 

Your life is nothing more than a love story. Between you and God

Your life is nothing more than a love story. Between you and God. Nothing more. Every person, every experience, every gift, every loss, every pain is sent to your path for one reason and one reason only: to bring you back to Him. (Yasmin Mogahed)

MARRY

Finding a Marriage Partner

Pure Matrimony

Finding a Marriage Partner

Q. What are Islamically permissible ways in which to meet women with intention for marriage, if you live in a society where your best opportunity to meet a muslim woman is at the workplace or in a secondary school?

A. Marriage is an institution which is filled with respect and dignity and so, everything that leads to marriage must be filled with the same. Dating, as we have seen brings about a great amount of sins and wrongdoings on the part of the boy and the girl. As such, a Muslim boy or girl must never be trapped into this web of satan.
...
In accordance to the guidelines given in the beautiful teachings of Islam, when one seeks a partner in marriage, he/she must consult with the parents or other close family members. The parents/guardian etc. will then enquire from others in the community and beyond about a good boy or girl for their son/daughter. When a certain match is found, the parents/guardian should enquire about the traits, habits and character of that person. If they are pleased, then they would introduce the boy to the girl. At this point the boy and girl may speak to each other within the presence of blood relatives and may then decide that they would marry each other. Even at this time, it is not permissible for both of them to go out alone, to be in seclusion or to maintain any sort of relationship which is seen from a husband and wife.

Besides the above, if a boy happens to see a girl which may interest him or vice versa, then they must consult with their parents and proceed thereafter in accordance to the guidelines given in the beautiful teachings of Islam. If the parent finds it difficult to find a suitable wife/husband for their son/daughter (through their contacts) then they may continue to enquire from friends, the Imam, persons in the community or even distant relatives.

And Allah knows best.
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Take a break with the family

Overworking oneself is very destructive if it is made a habit & can cause significant mental, physical & social damage.

It can also destroy family ties, break up marriages, result in loss of children to drugs etc.

Of what use are those earnings when things around us are crumbling.
...
Take a break with the family for a weekend. Make the time for those closest to you & spend the money you have earned on them!(Mufti Ismail Menk)

Janet Jackson Converts to Islam to Marry Qatari Billionaire – Halal “Abda” Cha-Ching

Janet Jackson Converts to Islam to Marry Qatari Billionaire – Halal “Abda” Cha-Ching

By Debbie Schlussel

Maybe she should change her name to Hamida Jackson. Or Halal Gold Digger.

Janet Jackson has converted to Islam, just like her Farrakhan acolyte bro, Jermaine Jackson (father to Jermajesty), in order to marry her Qatari billionaire fiance, Wissam Al Mana. Now, she will know what it’s like to be treated like an “abda”–a slave–since that’s how they look at Black people in the Muslim world. Yes, even the Jacksons.



Janet Jackson w/ Muslim Future “Mr. Jackson If You’re Nasty” Wissam Al Mana





Most White Muslims refer to Blacks–yes, even Black Muslims–as “abeed.” Literally it means “slaves” in Arabic, but it’s derogatory and the Arabic version of the N-word. “Abed” is the singular version of the word, and “abda” is the female version of the word. There is tremendous racism against Black people in the Islamic world, which is why they continue to slaughter Blacks in Sudan. First, the Sudanese Arab Muslims raped, tortured, and slaughtered the Black Christians, and then–when there were almost no Christians left, they began to rape, torture, and slaughter the Black Muslims of Sudan (and, when Muslims were being murdered, George Clooney and Angelina Jolie suddenly got concerned).

Hmmm . . . I wonder if the consistently hypocritical “Islamic modesty” will apply to Janet–er, “Sheikha Jackson if you’re nasty,” which the religion and people she’s marrying into certainly are. She’s already gotten a lot of practice wearing a hijab, as the photos above and below show (and don’t forget that her late brother Michael loved wearing the Muslim full ninja, the burqa). Also, will she be the only wife? Well, now that her music career has been over for several decades and her lawsuit to get Michael Jackson’s money away from his kids and into her pockets isn’t going anywhere, a chick’s gotta find a way to keep herself in style. And if ya can’t beat the jihad, join ‘em–that’s the ticket, right? File under, Hypocritical Gold-Digger Women We’d Like to See in a Burqa.

Janet Jackson and her fiancé Wissam Al Mana are reportedly planning to get married in Doha, Qatar in 2013.
The couple hope to tie the knot in Doha where the billionaire was born and are making arrangements for the ceremony to take place in 2013.
Janet and Wissam will be wedded in a Muslim ceremony. A renown [DS: sic] Turkish author, Adnan Oktar (aka Harun Yahya), is also making the claim that the 46-year-old Janet Jackson has converted to Islam — as did her brother, Michael Jackson — and is choosing to keep her new religion a secret from her fans.

married is one of the great Sunnahs

Getting married is one of the great Sunnahs of Rasulullaah (SAW). However, it is not just a Sunnah itself, but also that it opens up the door to many others as well. There are many other sunan which only married people can act on, and which single people are deprived of. Below are just a few of them. May Allaah Subahanu Wa ta’ala grant all married people, by virtue of acting on these things, a blissful, loving and lasting relationship; and may He make it easy for all of us singletons to get married, so that we can implement them as well.

 1) Greet her.

2) Convey Salams to her from others.

3) Smile at her.
... 4) Make dua for her.
5) Honour her friends, even after her death. Send them food from a sacrifice.
6) Eat from the same plate.
7) Drink from the same place where she places her mouth, and eat from the same place where she places her mouth.
8 ) Put a morsel of food in her mouth.
9) Let her comb your hair.
10) Recite Qur’an, while resting your head in her lap.
11) Take a ghusl with her from a single container.
12) Teach and advise her in a gentle manner.
13) Go racing with her and let her win. Later, when she puts on weight, race with her again and beat her.
14) Call her by an endearing nickname.
15) Wipe away her tears.
16) Heed her advice.
17) Take her with you on long journeys. If you have more than one wife, let them cast lots to decide who gets to go.
18) Spend time with her in entertainment, and stay with her until she is satisfied.
19) Let her spend time with her friends.
20) Give her time to adorn herself before going to her for intimacy.
21) Do not go to her in the manner of animals.
22) Make this dua before being intimate with her:
Bismillah. Allaahumma jannibnash shaitaan, wa jannibish shaitaana maa razaqtanaa.
23) Wake her up to make salaah at night. If she doesn't get up, sprinkle water on her face. Specifically on the wedding night.

Insha Allah ♥

 

Yasmin Mogahed – The Four Greatest Women in Islam: Maryam | Halal Tube

Yasmin Mogahed – The Four Greatest Women in Islam: Maryam | Halal Tube

Rights & Responsibilities of The Husband

The Rights & Responsibilities of The Husband by Sheikh Musleh Khan:

 The husband has many rights and responsibilities, more than their wives:
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them” [Al-Baqarah 2:228]

The most important of their responsibilities is the care and provision of his wife and children, which they are obligated to fulfill

When a husband is pleased with his wife and gets his due rights from her, her reward is great inshAllah

Men desire beauty in a woman

"Men desire beauty in a woman but they admire modesty. Beauty fades but character stays. After a while the most beautiful woman looks average, but the pious increase in beauty each day.“
-Imam Muhammad al Baqir